I know it's been a while and I just realized blogging is the best way to not only keep my loving family in the loop whom I don't see all the time, but it is also a great stress reliever since I have a profound love for writing.

Well, since we last talked I have landed a job.  A full-time, benefits paying, 9-5 job.  The working world is everything anyone said it would be in my little cube down here in B1 of Mohegan Sun.  No sunlight, no exercise, binging on iced coffees all while staring at a screen for 8 hours everyday. AND I LOVE IT.  After waiting for so long this job was just what I had been waiting around so long for.  Chris was right, it just takes time but it will be so worth it.  My boyfriend is such a cutesy, optimistic thing sometimes :)

So in light of my big change, it deemed fit to change my blog name and description because even though I am  not in the same exact place in life that I was in 5 months ago, I still am the same girl with some of the same struggles.

However, I have found that since landing my job here at Mohegan as a PR Specialist I have begun to ponder  big, ADULT decisions, almost overnight.  That was weird.  Starting to think about apartments and salaries and engagements and things of that sort, just HAPPENED.  It was very strange.  And for all of you who are wondering if that was all a HINT to what is coming, please stop.  I am still living in my cozy Colonial with my 2 lovely parents (minus sister who moves back to college today, hooray only child!) and my boyfriend is still as boyfriendy as he's always been.  And I've never been happier.

Figuring it all out, one step at a time, has been such a blast.

Til next time...

Toms..

Oh yes!  And Christopher bought me a couple pairs of Toms shoes for my birthday (black and the white crocheted).  I thought they were for a good cause and wanted to try them and if anyone out there wants a cute spring shoe...INVEST!!

Super comfortable for a flat shoe lady like myself ;)

Good evening lovers...

Hey guys!! I know it's been a week and a day since I have visited and I know I have left you all high and dry but please don't think I have forgotten about you! 

So much has happened lately that I need to catch you all up on!  Later on down the road I might dedicate posts expanding on certain topics but for now, let me just list.

First of all, I have had a few different job leads!  I have come to know that good things take time so for now, I am just going through the motions.  I have had an interview, though, for a company that I would just die to work for (insert sigh here).  I won't go into TOO much detail for fear of jinxing myself but I will expand later if need be. (PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE HAVE NEEEEDDD BEEE!!!!)

On another totally different note, Chris' younger brother Conor won SWC's and CT State Opens this past month in the 113 weight class and I couldn't be happier for him.  I don't get the chance enough to verbalize how proud of him I am but he truely is an outstanding human being and everything a great competitor should be.  He has set NUMEROUS records for New Milford High School and has had a fantastic career up to this point.  Go Conor, you da man and whatever college you choose is more than lucky to have you :)

I have been trying to eat healthier!  When I say "try" I mean it is my second day so let's not get ahead of ourselves yet....I am still going through the phase where I can't resist the Girl Scout cookies if I walk by them but HEY, I am doing my best and they aren't AWFUL in moderation.............

OK, WE ARE GOING TO MOVE ON BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE JUDGING ME!!!!!

The diet requires me to cut out processed things and stick to eating things that don't require my stomach to work as hard as it has been for the past 23 years of my life.  But so far so good!

23!  I forgot to add I recently had a birthday!  :) :) Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, beats birthdays.  It is the ultimate confidence booster because you are being reminded how much people love you for 24 hours straight!  Maybe that's why we have one every year, to remind us that there are people out there that enjoy you and appreciate you in their lives :)

Again, sorry for my absence and I promise to be around more.  I forgot how therapeutic it is to write!

Til next time...

In all seriousness...

Well, 2 months later and the place I interviewed with in October e-mailed me to say they have gone with someone else. No, ya think?  So I think it's come time for a serious post. A post where I can just tell you where I am in the whole job/life search and hope you can muster up some pity.

I feel like I am at the end of my rope. Granted, it has been seven very short months since I have graduated and the economy is awful, but I feel like I should be farther in life.  All around people are somehow landing salaried jobs, engagement rings, apartments, etc. and I feel like I am just stuck.  I feel the longer it takes for me to find a job, the more I just completely fail at life.  I feel that if I go one whole year without a job, there is just no hope and I may stay in my rut...where I don't want to be.  I know I am better than that. 

I can't be at the Crystal Mall forever and the longer I stay there, the more I feel everyone else has won. ("Oh wow, you still work there? How long has it been?  Didn't you graduate?")  I feel that up to this point in my life I have proved everyone wrong about me, that I am not just someone who sits back and lets life happen.  I have worked hard for everything I have accomplished this far in my professional and educational career and now by hitting a dead end, I feel like I have failed and it could have all been for nothing.

I don't want to put my life on hold anymore.  I want a job so I can then move out, get married, have children.  Life is on hold and I hate it...I am a fan of constant onward progression (which I have accomplished up until this point). 

I can say with complete confidence, for once in my life, I don't know where to go from here. And for someone who has always known what her next step is going to be, that's a big deal.